Archives

T’was the Month after Christmas!

Found this little poem, and thought it was quite cute!  It has been nearly a month since Christmas, and most of us are back to our regular routines. Many of us are trying to stick with our New Year’s Resolutions.

Hopefully, the numbers on the scales are creeping down and you feel healthier and leaner than you did a few weeks ago.  Many people are battling colds and the flu, which can slow down the process, but stick with it.  Spring is around the corner and it will be time to look FAB-U-LOUS!  Be true to yourself, keep the promises that you have made to be a better healthier you and remember, if you fall off, it’s not a fail.  It’s a small detour, and you can pick yourself back up and start over again.

T’was the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste.
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—

I said to myself, as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

 

http://www.reindeerland.org

Happy Family Day!

FAMILY

Family is,
heaven sent from our father above,
bonded by the power of love.
No matter what family has each others back,
when push comes to shove.

Family is,
understanding, never demanding,
all for one and one for all,
I will never leave you alone standing.

Family is,
one in itself, my love is your love,
your pain is my pain, my wealth is your wealth,
I promise to never leave you by yourself.

Family is,
the strongest team, the strongest unit;
if love could be visualized,
family would be the blue print.

Family is,
forgiveness and patience,
it’s sweeter than the sweetest fragrance,
the power of family is a reflection of Gods compassion and magnificence.

Family is,
never turning our back, and never shames,
lend my helping hand and not a finger pointing the blame.

No matter what a family bond can never be broken,
even through a nuclear explosion,
if one of us lives we all live.
Forever to eternity, we are family.

Twas the Night before Christmas ~ Dieter Version

I found this parody on the famous “Twas the Night Before Christmas” story and thought it would be fun for the Christmas holidays.

Wishing you all a very blessed and happy Christmas day.

*A Dieter’s Style

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips

were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips

Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care

in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there

While Mama in her  girdle and I in chin straps

had just settled down to sugar-borne naps

When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash

tore open the icebox then threw up the sash

The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow

sent thoughts of a binge to my body below

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:

A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!

That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick

I knew in a second that I’d wind up sick

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer

I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear

On Pritikin, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS

a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall

now dash away pounds now dash away all

Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress

my clothes were all bulging from too much excess

My droll little mouth and my round little belly

they shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly

I spoke not a word but went straight to my work

ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk

And laying a finger beside my heartburn

I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned

I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry

if temptation’s removed I’ll get thin by and by

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night

in the morning I’ll starve… ’til I take that first bite!

*Found on humormatters.com